merrah (mndc) wrote in bi_poles,

I upped my dosage of Cipralex from 10mg to 20mg. I haven't consulted a doctor about this, but I don't care. I'll maybe go down to 15mg until I can talk to a doctor, but I know that 20mg is the maximum recommended dose. I'm also on 150mg of Wellbutrin. One pdoc told me that, in his opinion, Wellbutrin was a useless drug and if I wanted it to work at all I'd have to go up to 300mg. But...I had what may have been a seizure a couple of weeks ago, so I don't want to up my Wellbutrin just yet.

Sad as it is to say this, one of the big reasons I want to up my dosage is because it kills my appetite. I lost almost 10lbs in two weeks when I began taking it, and have since gained a few back (I'm also on my period and drinking more than I should). 

But really, the turning point was last night. Out of the blue I just got so depressed and took a knife to my leg. What a stupid fucking thing to do. I tried to take apart a razor but I was drunk and fumbling. Now my left leg has dozens of little cuts. They're very little, and pretty shallow, so I really really hope they heal quickly. It's getting hot out and I want to be able to wear shorts (but I obviously won't until they heal). And, this weekend I have stupid NLS (lifeguard) re-certification. Which means bathing suits. And close physical contact. Fuck. 

How long does it usually take for little cuts to heal? Will poly/neosporin help speed up the process?  


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